5 clues you need a break

Have you ever heard of the crazy cycle? it happens in marriages everywhere. Some survive it and others don't. The basic principle is each partner blames their actions on the results of actions from their partner... maybe that's not too simple. Here's an example: My husband never listens, no matter how many times I ask him to do something it never gets done. When we ask the husband whats going on he replies "She's always bitching at me, I feel overwhelmed, I don't want to listen to her."

What's crazy is that this cycle can go on forever. With my Hubby I always want him to strive for something more, he thinks I'm bitching and nagging. Then I get upset that he says I'm nagging and I start to bitch... HAHAHA! No I haven't lost it. Maybe a little.

The thing is, I LOVE my husband and I know he loves me too and in the midst of all our craziness I know we can break this cycle.

If I were to be more direct with my expectations, and he with his we would be closer to understanding one another. Even though he may not be working, he needs a day a week to be alone from us, yes, his demanding family. By himself for himself.

I know this is true because I have the same urges.

How do you know you need a break:

1. when you hide in the bathroom to get away from your kids
2. when you suddenly start making up errands to run
3. when you notice your hands are reaching for a bottle of wine and you are not controlling them
4. when you start justifying crazy sociopath parents that hit their kids
5. when you think a 3 year old can take care of a 9 month old

Ok, go ahead and judge. No I don't hit my kids, no I do not lock them up and no I do not leave them alone...never. If you did judge, you either don't have kids or you think you're better than all of us. I don't give a shit.

What I'm getting at, is we all need a break. Maybe a day of me time. If that's fair, then a day of him time is fair too. I know, I know, we feel like we work harder than our husbands and this may be true but trust me. Give him a day off, just one day a week. Maybe even a few hours to go see his friends or do anything and he will be a more supportive, loving and appreciative dad and husband.

Talking about a day off, I'm ready for a spa day. Let's go ladies.

No 'poo, really?

I haven't used shampoo for over 6 weeks now, and no, my hair is not a grease infested nest. It's actually soft, light and shinier. I LOVE it. I had to share this new discovery with my BFF, who ultimately told me to blog about it. Hmmmmmmm, I wonder if she told me this so I wouldn't keep her on the phone for too long trying to convince her not to 'poo?

Either way, it's super easy, affordable and much healthier for your head and health.

Recipe:

Cleanse Rinse: 1 tablespoon baking soda to 1 cup water- warm water, mix and rinse your scalp. Make sure to massage

Conditioning Rinse: 1-2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar and 1-1.5 cup water, rinse the hair but not the scalp. You can leave this in for a minute.

Make sure to rinse super well, with each step.
No you wont smell like salad, I had C smell my hair all through out the day.

Good luck and don't forget to comb.

I thought I was going to sleep in

HA! These self-destructive thoughts. I don't remember the last time I slept in. N is a great sleeper on most nights, unfortunately last night, wasn't one of those. I asked JM to take both kids so I can relax for 15 minutes and where do I end up? blogging.

N is so sweet, anytime you look at him he's smiling. He has this very manly serious laugh and it's contagious. He's already 5 months. He's started pushing his butt up to try and army crawl. My first reaction? No, not yet. Everyone always asks how is S with him? I am glad to say very good. He loves his brother. This morning he got up and started playing with him immediately.

S is officially starting preschool on Monday and it has the whole family freaked out. We're happy but sad. Can I go back to preschool with him? I want to glue macaroni on colorful paper.

By the way, I accomplished #5 (Bul Dak) of my want to cook list and I must say it was delicious. JM said so as well, and he is very critical of my cooking. The first time I made it, it was OK but this time it was really good. I might even invite my Korean friends for dinner. Next is bread pudding.

Bitchy Blogger....

I know most blogger's have a theme for their blogs and I am beginning to accept that mine is bitching. My brain moves at 1000 thoughts a minute and as you can imagine that gets exhausting that is why I take to this blog and air out my dirty laundry. Anyhow, not to make excuses and not to bitch more I am going to change to a lighter topic.

I wanted to chat about cooking today. I realize that there's a few dishes that I really want to make and by posting it here I know I will make them. Here is the list:

1. Homemade Nutella- already done and loved it
2. Bread pudding
3. Steak Sauce- Like A1 for the hubs
4. Glazed pecans
5. Bul Dak- Korean Fire Chicken

That's it for now.
S has more preschool meet and greets and I need to pretend like I'm a fit, fun momma and not some overly exhausted zombie. Happy Fooling.

Mommy, can I please pee on my brother?

I wasn't going to write about this but I can't seem to restrain myself. Especially since I am at the office doing 'important' work.

My darling S has been getting potty trained for quite some time and he's 2 and a quarter now. My mother has really been leading the potty training since I failed her because S wasn't trained by 6 months...yes, 6 F%*#ING months. Anyhow, she's been teaching him to pull down his undies and pee or poop where ever he is if he can't make it to the potty. This would normally be fine with me except he peed on his little brother yesterday who happened to be sleeping in my bed, YES! He peed on my bed. Worst part is, I didn't change the sheets. I was so tired, I just said fuck it.

Maybe I should consider writing about something positive and talk about nice and happy things.

Cooking healthy is beyond the ingredients

Hypocrisy makes me laugh, I mention this now because it's like that Alanis Morissette song... isn't it ironic, "meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife." Vegetarians that wear leather are that to me. People that drive to farmers markets that are within walking distance and have no health ailments. Those that shop at farmers markets or Co-Ops and then get home and cook with aluminum, or wrap with plastic/aluminum are that to me. Why? Just don't do it.

I have this fear of hurting my kids unintentionally, I'm sure it will still happen but I don't want it to be from my cooking. I have done my job of going to the farmers market and buying locally grown, pesticide free and organic ingredients but now I have to continue to figure out healthy ways of using proper utensils and storage equipment. I see that this might be boring for many but I believe is so vital.

I am listing a quick guide of pans pros and cons. I got this from mothering.com community and believe almost everything except the part about silicone. I just don't trust the stuff, not in my kitchen and not in my breasts.

Pots and Pans Quickie Guide

Actually, the iron you get from your cast iron pans, if in large doses, isn't the greatest thing for you. It's not a bio-available form and can leave deposits of metallic iron in your organs and tissues. This is especially bad if you have the genetic mutation that makes your body store 'iron' like a camel stores water in the desert...

So, here is my break down of various cooking equipment and what's good and not so good about it.

Note: If you have aluminum 'cookie sheet's and are worried, you can put parchment or wax paper on them, then put your cookies on them to bake. You can line muffing cups with organic paper (HFS sells them) and then you have no worries about them 'touching' or leaching aluminum. Conversely, a more environmental conscious way would be to buy 'silpats' to line them.

If you have teflon coated ones, and you are just using standard baking temps, like 350 deg F, then this technique should be safe. It's temps over 500 deg F that make the teflon put off gasses that are toxic. So NO broiling of meats on teflon sheet pans or baking pizzas at hot temps!

CAST IRON
Good Stuff:
* Lasts a lifetime and then some, with good care.
* Heavy, even heat distribution. Great for doing pancakes and tortillas.
* Great for frying things, and is naturally non stick, if properly seasoned.
* Safe surface to cook on, if properly seasoned and you don't cook highly acidic foods in it.

Bad Stuff:
* Heavy to lift if you have strength issues.
* Have to make sure to reseason if you accidentally scrub it too hard, wash in heavy soap, or use acidic foods in it while cooking.
* Acidic foods (anything with tomato or citrus) will eat through the 'seasoning' and therefore react with the iron, and leach it into food. Can make it taste funny, metallic, and leach high amounts of iron into your body.

STAINLESS STEEL
Good Stuff:
* 100% non-reactive metal, no rusting or leaching
* No toxic off gassing
* Lighter in weight for lifting, compared to cast iron
* Lasts a lifetime with proper care
* Can cook even eggs and such, with proper heating techniques and a light oil coating

Bad Stuff:
* Some foods can stick, but it can be scrubbed to death, with no damage.

ENAMEL COATED CAST IRON
Good Stuff:
* All the benefits of Cast iron, but a 'scrubbable' and 100% totally non-reactive surface, regardless of what you cook in it.

Bad Stuff:
* If the surface coating (porcelain) is chipped or cracked, you can get 'rust' spots there.
* Heavy to lift
* Heat distribution is affected by the porcelain, so good for long slow cooks, but not quick, heat sensitive 'sauce' making.

GLASS
Good Stuff:
* 100% non reactive material
* Easy to clean (scrub) and lift (usually)

Bad Stuff:
* Breakable
* There are no 'glass' frying pans to my knowledge and cooking an egg would royally suck, on glass...(can't take high direct heat and would not be able to 'distribute' it)

PORCELIN (Ie, Corning ware)
Good Stuff:
* 100% non reactive (it's a form of high tempered glass) - no leaching
* Cook to dinner top ready, pretty to look at
* Fairly easy to clean, stuff can stick if not soaked right away. (Sometimes stains with tomato type sauces)

Bad Stuff:
* It is breakable, but usually more durable than regular glass

TEFLON COATED ANYTHING
Good Stuff:
* It's non stick

Bad Stuff:
* It off gasses toxic fumes if exposed to high temperatures, the PTFE (polytetrafluoro-ethylene) coating breaks down.
* The process to make them, puts highly toxic material into our environment (PFOAs)
* If it gets even a tiny scratch, you should toss it, as it can leach into your foods.

ALUMINUM (Unclad)
Good Stuff:
* It's super light weight
* The 'air pocket' kind bakes evenly

Bad Stuff:
* It's highly reactive to acidic foods
* I still wouldn't want foods touching an unclad aluminum surface, as it can leach into foods given the right circumstances.
* It bends and warps in the oven making your pans 'wonky'...

ANODIZED ALUMINUM
Good Stuff:
* Super lightweight
* Super strong material
* The chemical process (acidic dip and electro current) method to convert the aluminum to 'anodized aluminum' makes the metal surface 'super slick' and there fore 'non stick'.

Bad Stuff:
* Still not convinced that this 'changing of the aluminum into anodized aluminum, is 100% non-reactive. But if you HAVE TO HAVE a nonstick pan, pay the big bucks for this kind, over the cheaper PTFE 'coated' pans.

STONEWARE
Good Stuff:
* Can develop a nice 'non stuck' coating like cast iron when used alot (esp with high oil content food)
* 100% non reactive surface
* Can distribute heat evenly like cast iron, but lighter in weight (still kind of heavy)
* It makes the most AMAZING pizza stones!

Bad Stuff:
* Can break if dropped from really high or hit with something hard (don't ask)
* Is kinda expensive if you buy it from Pampered Chef (but worth it, IMO)

SILICON BAKEWARE
Good Stuff:
* Super super light weight
* Technically and chemically speaking 100% non-reactive (if solid silicon)
* Super easy to clean and care for
* High heat resistant (for baking and such, do no put on top of a burner)
* Easy to remove baked foods from it and clean (non stick by nature)

Bad Stuff:
* Mmm, still trying to figure out if there are any. It might melt or stick to a burner if you accidentally left it on one, and the kid turns it on...
* There is a slight chance they might use something to process the silicon that is environmentally bad. The silicon should be 100% non reactive, but who really knows. If you were eating the silicon, well, that's different...